Keeping Track of Everything
The Unseen Load
Solution: Have Your Spouse Fully Take Over a Task
Problem: They’re Not Going to do it Your Way
Solution: Acknowledge and Communicate
I fully communicate to my husband when I’m feeling overloaded. I’ve explained the mental load scenario to him, and he knows there’s not much he can do to fix it other than listen to me and acknowledge my feelings.
Also, if I ask him to do something, it helps if he writes down that task and becomes 100% responsible for it. If not, I still have the burden of being ‘responsible’ for reminding him to do it…which just comes across as nagging.
Problem: Whine, whine, whine
Sometimes, when I’m ‘communicating’ with my husband, it comes across as complaining. It’s OK to state facts; it’s also OK to be burnt out; it’s not OK to have a snarky, rude tone, when relaying the fact that you’re burnt out. If your husband can state the fact that he had a long day at work, you can state the fact that you, as well, had a long day.
Do you feel the mental load of motherhood? I’d love to hear how you handle it… and if it’s not well, I encourage you to sit down with your spouse and figure out a way to help you handle it better.