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Raising Twins the First Year: What I Learned

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Raising twins is an absolute joy and absolutely SO much work, especially the first year.

I would talk to other twin parents when the girls were newborns, and I was constantly being told: “it doesn’t get easier… it just gets different.”

That would make me want to scream. Seriously, what the heck does that even mean?

Well, friends, I can now fully understand what it means.  The babies sleep now, and we don’t have to feed them every 3 hours around the clock.

We don’t have the ‘witching hour‘ where they just cry all evening long for no reason.  However, I now have to entertain two babies all day long.

I have to feed them 3 full meals a day.  I have to dress them both every day (OK, every other day…ish) while they crawl over each other’s faces.

And leaving the house? I basically pack an overnight bag, so there’s that.

When I first found out that we were having twins, I hyperventilated.  There were so many unknowns, and I had so many questions.  Now that I have survived the first year of raising twins (+1), I have a few thoughts…

raising twins first year

I Have More Patience

During my first year of twin parenting, there were days when all 3 kids cried. all. day. long.  This has also happened when I’ve had only 3 hours of sleep.

I’ve learned to mentally prepare myself.  If I can sense that my toddler is about to meltdown, or the babies are teething and grumpy, I step away and take a few deep breaths.

I remind myself that staying calm is something I will never regret.

Now, I’m not saying that I haven’t lost it on my toddler, or snapped at my husband because it totally happens.

I’m just saying that these stressful situations have given me the skills to have more patience so that it happens less.

Read –> How to Overcome Being an Angry Mom: Practical Tips

I Feel the Need to Share Stressful Moments of My Day

With my husband. While he’s at work, which he really appreciates.

But in all seriousness, when he gets home from work and our lunch dishes are still on the table, I’m in my pajamas, and we’re having cereal for dinner, I want him to know why.

No, it’s not because I was watching reruns of ‘Gilmore Girls’ all day (although that has been known to happen on occasion).

It’s because one baby pooped in the bathtub, another baby had a blowout the second they got out of the bathtub, and the toddler threw a fit because he wanted his mac n cheese uncooked.

I even send him pictures as evidence, and I don’t plan on stopping.  He gets to go on a luxurious vacation (aka leaves the house) every day, and so I send him daily doses of what’s going on at our casa.

Read –> How to Handle the Mental Load of Motherhood

I Let Things Go

It’s a full-time job to keep up with groceries, cooking, and laundry.

Before I actually became a mom, I planned on being the mom who always looked put together.

My house would be spotless, I would have Pinterest worthy activities, would exercise regularly and put elegantly plated, cooked from scratch meals on the table every night.

I finally realized that, although I CAN do all of these things, it just isn’t worth it.  I have to let things go in order to maintain a small amount of clarity.

If you come over to my house, there will likely be toys on the floor, a basket of laundry waiting to be folded, and I may even be wearing sweatpants.

I could get up at 5:00 AM to get it all done; never spend time with my husband; never do anything for myself, but I’m not! I’m choosing to let it go.

It’s only for a season and the older my kids get, the more things I am able to add back.

But for that first year of raising twins? I let things go.

I Throw My Hair Up and Handle It

It takes a lot to phase me. Carry a tantrum-throwing toddler to the car?

Piece of cake.

Chase said toddler across the park and carry him to the car while pushing a double stroller?

Been there, done that, stopped for wine on the way home.

I haven’t always been this way.

Things that would have absolutely made me have a heart attack pre-twins, I just deal with now, because there is no time to even react.

Changing a poopy diaper at the same moment the toddler learns how to dispense water from the refrigerator all over the entire floor?

Pre-twins, I would have lost. my. mind.

Post twins? Toddler gets a towel and a lesson on cleaning the floor after I dispose of the poopy diaper and wash my hands.

raising twins first year

Not Because I am a Tougher Mom Than You

I’m not trying to brag and be all like “I’m so amazing” or anything simply because I don’t bat an eye at going to Target with 3 small children.

I’m simply saying that I don’t have a choice.

When you’re by yourself and have two premature babies that need to eat every 3 hours, and your toddler throws up all over his high-chair, you can’t say “sorry kid, I can’t handle this right now, please contain your vomit until tomorrow.”

There is no choice but to clean up the vomit, put him in front of the t.v. with a bucket, and go back to feeding the babies.

raising twins first year

And This Has Made Me Stronger

Now that I’ve made it through the first year of raising twins, I have a newfound confidence in my ability to handle whatever life throws my way.

I feel like this is a nice way of describing how insanely chaotic and exhausting it is to have 3 small children, but hey- I don’t want to scare any twin moms to be!

Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram and Facebook for more twin love!

Are you expecting twins? Check out these posts:

How to Survive a Twin Pregnancy

The Ultimate Guide to Your Twin Registry

Newborn twins at home? These are for you:

How to Get Your Twins to Sleep Through the Night

How to Get Your Twins on a Schedule

5 Tips to Survive Life With Newborn Twins

What it's really like to have twins... thoughts from a twin mom after surviving one year of twins!
Expecting twins? One twin mom gives her experience of life with twins after one year. #twinmom #expectingtwins #momofmultiples #twins #lifewithtwins #tipsfortwinparents

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Lauren Marie Parisi

Tuesday 28th of March 2017

Gosh! I love all your articles!!!

The Mama Playbook

Monday 27th of February 2017

I LOVED reading this, and one of my fav things you pointed out was that we don't have a choice we just have to handle it. I always am afraid of feeling like I'm bragging because I am not, I handle it, because i HAVE to. And it has made me stronger, and I do love it, and I have had to let things go (like always being on time, more like, rarely if ever these days, but I do my best!). You are an AMAZING mama thank you for sharing this!

Caitlin Rogers

Monday 27th of February 2017

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it. I know, I never want to feel like I'm bragging about how much I can handle. It's just the hand I've been dealt!

Rachel Imhoff

Thursday 23rd of February 2017

Uh, no twins, as you know, but there are definitely stickers in places of my house that stickers shouldn't logically be because sometimes the 3 year old got into the sticker books, and your nursing the baby, and/or the dog is whining to be let out have a coffee table that has been glamorized by Paw Patrol stickers...temporary or not, that is something that would have made me lose my mind with just A! But since I run around after an incredibly troublemaking Fi, like you said, I have no choice! ;)

Caitlin Rogers

Thursday 23rd of February 2017

Oh Gosh... not gonna lie, stickers on my coffee table might be something I'd want to lose my cool over!

Betty Boiron

Tuesday 21st of February 2017

You are definitely tougher than me! I am having a nervous breakdown daily whenever my toddler throws a tantrum while the baby is crying, and I only have the two. You are amazing!

Caitlin Rogers

Thursday 23rd of February 2017

It's the worst when there is more than 1 of them crying. I just take deep breaths and say in my head "you will never regret staying calm" and "30 minutes until nap. You can do this." It won't last forever, I promise!! But it's so hard, I know!!! We have watched waaaayyyyy more Daniel Tiger than I am comfortable admitting.

Elna Cain

Tuesday 21st of February 2017


From one twin mom to another, I was the same, except I didn't have three kids..just my twins :-) Oh, and I never went out with them..ever for the first year and a half. My twins just turned four, and it IS different. Did the potty training thing but now it's the whole getting ready for school, keeping them busy and entertained and managing how sick they get (they've literally been sick all of December and half of January..). I'm hoping that when they do go school I can actually get my hair cut, go for a run and like actually clean up and organize the house :-) ha...

Caitlin Rogers

Thursday 23rd of February 2017

Elna, I don't know how you do it! I was doing pretty well at keeping up with things until I started this whole blogging adventure, and now there is just NO TIME. The other day I made a comment while brushing food off the baby how she had food all over her pants. My toddler responded with "Josie and Margo don't wear pants, mommy! They just wear jammies!" Ugh. Rub it in, kid. At least he didn't add "like mommy!" LOL

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