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“Your Hands Are Full!” and Other Things Twin Moms Hear

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things twin moms hear that we get a little tired of!

It wasn’t long into my twin pregnancy when I realized that people are fascinated by twins. I mean, that’s not a bad thing, right? It can catch you off guard when you see two people who look alike.

The relationship between twins is fascinating and I often wonder what exactly is going through the heads of my twin girls. Since I am curious, it only makes sense that other people are curious about twins as well.

However, there is a very thin line between friendly curiosity and downright rudeness.

I believe that people have good intentions, and don’t set out to ask inappropriate questions, but it happens so frequently that I thought I’d put together a little PSA.

Sometimes having my kids out in public is so stressful that the little comments can put me over the edge.

Here are things twin moms hear on repeat that we get tired of hearing!

Having twins can sometimes feel like you're in a circus. The amount of attention you receive can be overwhelming! Here is a list of things twin moms hear that, to be honest, we get a little bit sick of! #expectingtwins #twins #twinmom #newtwinmom #itsatwinthing #lifewithtwins

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“You’ve got your hands full!

This is by far the number one thing I hear.

It’s not mean or rude, but it’s not exactly helpful.

My husband and I joke around that it’s just people stating facts. What if we were to look at someone and say “Your hat is blue!” or “You have two legs!”

What to say instead: “You’ve got your hands full and you’re doing a great job/your family is beautiful/etc.”

A few extra words can make all the difference. It is a compliment instead of a vague comment.

“Are they natural?”

The main problem with this question is the fact that all babies are natural, EVEN if they are conceived via fertility treatments.

STILL. NATURAL.

The other main problem with this question is the fact that… it’s none of your freakin’ business how someone’s baby is conceived unless it is your own.

What to say instead: Your family is beautiful! You’re doing a great job!

“Do twins run in your family?”

I don’t mind at all if I’m asked this by friends or acquaintances.

I don’t even mind if it’s someone I’ve just met and have been chatting with for a few minutes.

Oftentimes I get stopped by women who are about to become a grandparent to twins that they want to ask me all about it.

I  don’t mind answering questions like that.

What I DO mind is the people who upon seeing my twins say and without even saying hello or anything else, say, “Oh, twins! Do they run in your family?”

What to say instead: Your family is beautiful! You’re doing a great job!

“Are they identical?”

Similar to the above question, there is nothing inherently wrong with this question.

Sometimes it seems as though people feel entitled to ask me anything.

Sometimes I just want to get through the grocery store without a million questions.

What to say instead: Your family is beautiful! You’re doing a great job!

“Better you than me!”

I actually had a store employee one time say “oh, twins!” to my husband pushing the girls on the stroller.

Then, as I came up behind him with our singleton, she said “and you have one more, too! God bless you, I have one and it’s more than I can handle! Better you than me!”

 

I am so thankful for my children and wouldn’t trade them for the world. I’ll take the endless loads of laundry and sticky fingers any day.

Just. Don’t. Say. This.

What to say instead: Your family is beautiful! You’re doing a great job!

“I always wanted twins!”

I feel so conflicted when I hear this because having twins is such a blessing.

But you guys… IT IS SO MUCH WORK.

When someone nonchalantly says “I want twins!” it feels as though it is downplaying how hard it is.

What to say instead: Your family is beautiful! You’re doing a great job!

“Double trouble!”

While completely true at the moment (toddler twins are crazy), I don’t want a random stranger calling my children trouble.

What to say instead: Your family is beautiful! You’re doing a great job!

“Two for the price of one!”

Last I checked, I have to buy things for both of them, so definitely two for the price of two 🙂

What to say instead: Your family is beautiful! You’re doing a great job!

In conclusion, if you see a twin mom (or twin dad for that matter!) out and about and want to acknowledge how cute their twins are, simply say “your family is beautiful! You’re doing a great job!”

You can never go wrong with complimenting someone!

Don’t forget to follow me over on Pinterest for lots of advice for twin parents and Instagram to keep up with our family!

other helpful posts:

Dear New Twin Mom

6 Differences Between a Singleton and Twin Pregnancy

The Ultimate Guide to Your Twin Registry

How to Safely Take Toddler Twins Out Alone

My Twin Birth Story

How to Get Your Twins to Sleep Through the Night

8 Things twin m oms are tired of hearing! #twinmom #twins #expectingtwins #lifewithtwins #twinparents #momofmultiples
Things twin moms hear over and over! #twinmom #newtwinmom #newtwinmomlife #twinmomlife #expectingtwins #lifewithtwins #momofmultiples

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Arin B

Monday 26th of February 2024

I haven't been asked if my twins were "natural," but I have been asked if they were birthed naturally. That is far more information than anyone outside our family needs to know. It does seem as though people feel entitled to answers to their questions about my twins. I have had people literally follow me through a store, not taking the hint that I don't want to tell a stranger my children's length and weight at birth, how many weeks they were, how long they sleep at night, etc. Leave us alone! I'm here to get bananas, not hire a biographer!

Katelyn

Saturday 14th of October 2023

What a wonderful post :) My girlfriends and I have all experimented with what the “right” response is when we each get our seemingly weekly comment of, “you’ve got your hands full.” I’ve settled on, “yes, I do, but in the best possible way.”

Like you said about it never being wrong to just give a compliment rather than say “you’ve got your hands full;” I will always remember one kind man telling me at a Trader Joe’s, “what a strong woman you must be, raising these little kids.” I could have cried happy tears :)

*this was all said when I had 3 under four; and I’m now pregnant with twins, so I can only imagine the comments coming my way with 5 under 7

Kathleen T

Thursday 17th of February 2022

These are spot on!! Thanks for sharing. My worst moment was when someone told me she thought I was having triplets bc I was so big, I just wanted to cry bc everyone was laughing in the store I was so embarrassed. People just don’t think, there’s two babies in there for Pete’s sake!!!

Ernstine Anderson

Monday 22nd of March 2021

Stupidest comment I got was, “ Are they both yours?”. They were in a twin pram, wearing matching outfits!

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